The Cybersybils present Esoteric Leopardy

The interviews attracted every type of sci-fi fan and heroic hopeful imaginable. Juan Carlos and Miss Olivia did their best to chat with everyone, calling out each name printed atop an essay, yet as the day wore on, finding patience, not Cybersybils, became the ultimate goal.

"I'm Esoteric Man. I know the secrets of the pyramids. Here, on my commando belt, is a primitive compass that uses the sun god Ra as a guide. Hey, do you guys offer a 401K?"

Olivia leaned on one hand, reading through a stack of boring blue books. The Jackal took the cue and handled the questioning. "How cool was Nostradamus, eh pal?!"

"He rocked! I've got, like, all his books! I actually channeled him one night in the King's Chamber of the Great Pyramid and..."

"Thanks Mr. Brain, now go beat feet...or should I say inches," growled the Peyton examiner, annoyed by yet another occult wanna-be who showed lack of any real knowledge. She pounded the table comically as the next bodacious entrant strode forward, confident she would impress at least one of the judges.

"And you are? The buck-toothed belly dancer of Bombay...." Olivia stopped herself before she made a very bad impression.

"Yeah, like you're as hot as Kathrin Oxenburger...hah."

Miss O laughed out loud with disdain while Juan Carlos seductively intoned, "Mystery Mama, please do have a seat."

As soon as the applicant straddled a chair, Olivia began her interrogation. "Tell us your opinion of the magician Nostradame. Oh, and by the way, I do remember you from the Three Fish, with or without the veil," she added.

The Cybersybil hopeful did not miss a beat when she answered with conviction, "He blows. Everybody knows that people back then called the guy Costa Nostra behind his back. And I remember you, 2, as in the number."

"I think you mean U2, as in the band, although I'm certain Bono doesn't mind the oversight," Olivia shot back. "Too bad Britainé and Kathrin don't have numbers, hmm, because we all know zeros don't count!"

Briella of the Came-n-bents

"She's in," Juan Carlos enthused, turning to a stunned Miss Olivia before adding, with a smile, "We need her."

"JC, she likes Britainé Smears and Kathrin Oxenburger - and you didn't even look at her chart yet, although I can already guess it's a mess!"

"Would you be kind enough to whisper your birth date to me? Let's enter that auspicious time into my cesium astrology mood ring," the stargazer chuckled. "Oh my...so rare. Tell me, Miss..."

"Came-n-bent, Donny Whanny. My full name is Briella Camenbent. From Merry-Meet-Land. My friends call me cheezy...because of the wicked cool Came-n-bent tattoo on my...wanna see?"

Briella then opened her sequined brassiere, exposing a colorful stamp placed askew a lop-sided bosom; only one acknowledged the woman's display with a gold grin. The other muttered, "It's Camenbert, you idiot."

"Wow, mer-girl...really phat tatt. And such an interesting nickname...although I like Brie better...especially when it's soft and creamy. Where's your essay?"

Juan Carlos continued to babble rapidly as he waited for the candidate to scribble something in a blue book. "Yes, Miss O, our Brie possesses the ability to assume many identities and be rather convincing in her disguises. A gift no doubt credited in large part by a late-degree Pisces sun. Yes, it's true! Pisces Sun, Capricorn Moon, Mercury in Aquarius, Venus in Virgo, Mars in...oh, nevermind, it all works, trust me. Tell me, young lady, are you a care-giver, perchance?"

"Yeah, I'm like a social worker on vay-cay 'cuz there was a big Britainé concert in Paris that my Daddy paid for me to see, and then I like decided to hang out in France...to like look for...you...and let's see...I party like a lot, too. I love to dance! Yeah, I guess I believe in that line...how does it go...better to have like lusted and lost...than...than..."

"...never to have lusted the strange busted at all?" the enthralled host flirted with the stranger. Carlos was not so much overcome by Brie's striking overbite, yet rather by the fact that her planetary makeup was such a...strange mix-up.

"What did you write?" Juan Carlos urged, intrigued.

Portrait of a pregnant Elizabeth I

"The best Cybersybils' Creative Writing class essay, like combining the topics religion, royalty, sex and mystery, is: My GODDESS, said the QUEEN, I'm PREGNANT. I WONDER who did it? I'll never tell - isn't that funny?"

"Brie...you're in! Tell me...do you know any other ladies like yourself? We need to add another Cybersybil to...the team," the Jackal gushed.

"Hmmm," the contest winner mused, "I think your next girl will like turn up unexpectedly...and she'll wear a ring just like that one - with a big, bad wolf on it - I'm positive. Did I mention that I'm like psychic, too?"

"Gotta love it," JC enthused while he stopped Miss Olivia from quitting the scene. "C'mon, O, be a sport. You need a new friend now that Maddie's gone. I know just the thing to cheer you up! I think it's time to explore Italy and find the Sybilline scrolls! Then we'll go to Spain and meet my family...all three of us...the new and improved Cybersybils!"

"Great," Olivia answered, choking back angry tears. Where was Duke, she wondered sadly, for she knew in her heart who the next Cybersybil should rightfully be, and it was not the veiled vixen of the Came-n-bents.